Jokaisella kohtaamisella on merkitystä. Niin työpaikalla kuin muissakin ihmissuhteissa ratkaistaan asioiden ohella suhteiden laatu ja luottamus. Jos kokee olevansa hyväksytty, on tilanteessa helppo olla. Sen sijaan jatkuva taistelu tai ylimarssiminen saa etsimään yhteisöä, jossa toimitaan toisin. Mollatuksi tai nollatuksi tulemisen kokemus lisää negatiivisia tunteita, arvostuksen ja tuen saaminen lisää turvallisuuden tunnetta.
Omaa suhtautumista on mahdoton piilottaa, sillä epäluottamus näkyy pitkälle. Se ei ole vain epämääräinen tunne kohdatessa, vaan paljastuu käyttäytymisessä. Se ei ole vain tympeää kohtelua tai ohittamista. Sille, johon ei luoteta, ei puhuta, ei aina edes työn kannalta tarpeellisista asioista. Vain sille kerrotaan, johon luotetaan.
Epäluottamus saa pahimmillaan rikkomaan tasavertaisen kohtelun periaatteita. Lähiesimiesten esimerkillä on suuri vaikutus. Millä tavalla puhuu muista. Syntyykö kuva, että ymmärtää vai vähätteleekö tai arvostelee. Pitääkö itsellään hänelle uskotut asiat vai jakaako niitä auliisti muille. Myös sillä on merkitystä, millainen on yleinen tunnetila. Kuten yksi tuttu kysyi: voiko sellaiseen edes luottaa, joka aina puhuu vihaisesti?
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